Sunday, May 9, 2010


A week or so ago, Army Dude and I were going to lunch at a restaurant whose TVs blare the bad new of the day around the clock for the diners' convenience. The TVs are muted or I would flat-out refuse to go no matter how good their Buffalo wings are.

As we were being seated, I saw an ad on one of the televisions. I looked at Army Dude quizzically. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Did I just see what I think I saw?
Army Dude: Yes.
Me: No, really... that commercial... are they advertising...?
Army Dude: An egg-cracking gadget.
Me: A gadget. That cracks eggs. For $19.95?
Army Dude: Plus postage and handling.
Me: [Still looking at him quizzically.]

Here's the thing: eggs are fragile. They are heavy compared to the strength of their shells. They crack. The challenge with the egg, as I see it, is to avoid having it crack until you want it to. An entire industry has developed around the harvesting, storage, and delivery of eggs using specialized equipment and packaging to avoid breakage.

So after millennia of using our hands to help the egg meet its cracking destiny, now we're being told we need a $20 gadget? It's enough to make me despair for the future of the human race. Seriously.


  1. Mad you didn't think of it first and make your millions that way huh?

    J/k. Seriously...if I can crack an egg one-handed, anyone can, even people with only one arm.

  2. Exactly. I'm annoyed because people are incredibly gullible and yet I'm not making any money off them.