Sunday, September 26, 2010

Just Say No

I went to Waterfire in Providence last night with a group of friends - well-dressed, professional people who were mostly middle-aged. Keep this fact in mind as I unfold the following tale.

Two of our friends left the group to have dinner at a local restaurant. The rest of us availed ourselves of the street vendors and then we all met up at a drink-and-dessert place called L'Elizabeths's, which one of the women described as "lovely." And it was, for about thirty seconds. The decor was attractive and comfortable and there was a musician playing the guitar. But then the manager came up to us and told us we couldn't stand in the doorway and we needed to sit down. He then told us where to sit, informed us that they could not do separate checks so we would have to order together. He twitched, sniffed, and blinked. A lot.

Then he didn't like where some of us were sitting and told one couple that he needed their table in case a party of two came in. When they said "But we are a party of two," the manager told us all (loudly) to leave and forcibly took a drink out of one woman's hand. He twitched and blinked some more as we stared at him, open-mouthed, and tried to process what was happening. As we regrouped on the street, the waitress came out to tell us not to stand in front of their restaurant. On a public sidewalk. She was too busy yelling to notice me taking photos.

Here are the points you should take away from this little story:
1. Avoid L'Elizabeth's at all cost.
2. Don't annoy a food blogger. She will tell the entire internet.
3. Anyone who uses two apostrophes in one word is an idiot.
4. Just say no to drugs, kids. They make you twitch and sniff and blink. The make you rude and irrational. And they are very, very bad for you.

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