See? I'm WAY cooler than Ms. Boring 1996. Get with it, General Mills. Retro is the new modern! 
During these hot summer days when maiden aunts are subsisting mostly on smoothies and sandwiches, our thoughts naturally turn to food tales of yore.
The Scene: My mother's kitchen, circa 1983. Cereal is kept in a floor-level cabinet so children can serve themselves for breakfast and snacks.
The Players: Me. My sister Rachel, age 6. Our brother Aaron is 13 -- seven years older than Rachel and seven years younger than me.
During these hot summer days when maiden aunts are subsisting mostly on smoothies and sandwiches, our thoughts naturally turn to food tales of yore.
Picture it: my mother's kitchen, 1985. My youngest sister Rachel (age 8 at the time) asked me to help her make a milkshake. Since I was fully grown and much taller, she stood in front of me while we loaded the blender with ice cream, milk, and Nestle's Quik. As I reached out to pick up the blender's lid off the counter, Rachel pushed a button and started the blender.
Have you ever noticed how, in moments like this, time seems to slow way down? I saw her push the button. I heard myself say "NOOOOOOOOO." I saw the blender's contents fly high into the air, and then splash down upon us. I was still reaching for the lid while flailing toward the off switch.
I surveyed the wreckage. There were chunks of ice cream and splashes of milk everywhere. I was spattered from the chest up and completely clean from there down since Rachel had made a very effective human shield. She was drenched from head to toe, her hair dripping chocolate milk onto the floor. I ran across the kitchen and unspooled a roll of paper towels to mop us off, and then sent her to take a shower and change. I cleaned the kitchen, although I suspect my mother is finding bits of chocolate in odd places to this day.
When I got back from my turn in the shower, believe it or not, the kid still wanted a milkshake.
While noodling around the Newport Historical Society website looking for genealogical research information, I found the following "receipt":
To Cure Chopt Lipps &c.
Take 2oz: of Bees wax & cutt it in pieces or bitts & 1
Gill of good Sweet oyl set it over a Clear fire when
Dissolved pour it into a Clear Bason & it will be when
Coal’d an Oyntment good for sore Nipples also any
Thing of that kind.
A friend recently told me that when a lobster outgrows its shell, it moults and then hides until the new shell forms because it's soft and vulnerable.
In the summertime, I want to get through my chores as quickly as possible and get to the main attraction of the season: being outdoors. Cooking, as much as I love it, is no exception. I'm doing a lot more assembling of meals (tossing salads, spooning berries over cottage cheese) than I am actual cooking these days.1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Prepare one large or two small rimmed baking sheets by pouring a little olive oil in the bottom and spreading to coat the pan(s).
2. Cut sweet potatoes in 1-inch steak fry sized pieces and place pieces in a large bowl. Drizzle olive oil over potatoes and toss. Make sure you use enough olive oil that all the potatoes are fully coated. Sprinkle on the salt, pepper, and garlic powder to taste. (I find it's better to season these liberally.) Toss again.
3. Spread the seasoned sweet potatoes on the baking sheet(s), making sure they are in a single layer and are not too crowded. Place sheet(s) in the hot oven and bake approximately 45 minutes. (Tip: I check them after half an hour and give them a little jiggle or turn them over with a spatula.) The fries are done when they are soft when pierced with a fork and are slightly browned around the edges.
